The Brain is Efficient
Our brains evolved to simplify repeated behaviors. In modern humans the brain tries to do as much as possible with as little effort as it can. In some situations that translates to laziness. But, from a biological point of view, it’s efficiency.
That’s why habits are so hard to change. Our brains quickly automate repeated behavior, and once a collection of activities are strung together into a routine, we rely on the automation so we can switch our attention to things that are new or problematic.
A Pain and a Power
A key point in adjusting our routines is to understand that these automatic processes are in place because they WORK. We get the things done stay out of trouble. Trouble, to our brains, is immediate danger or pain, social disapproval, or a threat to others we care about. Lower priorities also affect us, but not as much.
Most people respond to cues in the environment to start a learned routine. A good example is our end-of-day transition to being home. We come through a certain door, we put down what we’re carrying in a certain place, we move to a room or area, interact with others who share our home, etc. We don’t think much about it, but most people do it the same way every time. It’s a problem when something throws off the routine, and we feel stress. It’s also a power because we can use an existing routine to add new habits with less effort.
Using Your Super Power
If you want to add and change habits, start with the ones you already have and remodel them. A little like upgrading your home, it’s less expensive even if it takes a little discomfort to get started. Let’s help a learner establish a strong habit of starting their homework earlier.
Meet J, a high school sophomore whose grades are slipping because of some missing assignments and procrastination on longer projects. It’s clear they’ve been avoiding homework until the very last minute. Not only is J unhappy with their own performance, but the family communications have become stressful. J’s parents are nagging them more frequently and the falling grades are disappointing everyone, including J. J and their parents reworked their desk area to make it inviting and productive, but so far that hasn’t really fixed the problem. Here’s how we can recruit J’s efficient brain to get homework started earlier.
Find an existing routine
J gets home around 4:30 pm most days. They drop their school bag on the kitchen island, get something to eat, turn on the TV and text and chat with friends on their phone. After an hour or so, they go upstairs to their bedroom, turn on their gaming console and get involved in more virtual social activities with their fellow gamers online. By about 6:30 they are called for dinner. The meal usually ends around 7:30. They find their school bag and head upstairs to do homework, but end up either gaming some more, or napping because they feel sleepy after eating.
Can you see opportunities that would use the existing routine to get J started on homework sooner?
Identify the Cues and Tweak
Notice that most of the steps are very pleasant. They reinforce behavior and turn it into a habit. By tweaking them slightly and making some unpreferred tasks a way to earn the good stuff, we can use this existing routine to improve J’s results with homework.
| CURRENTLY | TWEAKED |
| Coming in the door, bag on the island | Come in the door, go to bedroom , put bag on desk While in the bedroom, turn on/charge any devices needed for homework |
| Being in the kitchen TV, food, phone together | THEN go back to the kitchen for a snack WITHOUT the TV on (phone is ok) The snack becomes a reward for going upstairs to prepare for doing homework. |
| Gaming | Gaming time can be earned by completing homework assignments – decide on a fair ratio with J’s input – equal time on assignments for equal time gaming, or X gaming minutes per assignment completed. Every learner will respond to different formulas. Agree to TRY one and see how it works before rejecting it. It’s effective to give the student a choice of whether to collect rewards and receive them all at once, or get them one at a time. |
| Dinner | Use the dinner prompt to inquire about homework progress and celebrate ANY improvement on this tweak. DO NOT FOCUS on what was NOT done. That will undermine the rewards. Give low-key cues to complete any work. Don’t be overly positive or negative. Teens respond better to less emotional expression, probably because their own emotions are so intense. |
| Rest | Use rest periods, like 10 min on the phone or listening to music to recharge for whatever energy is needed to complete school work. This is a good opportunity to demonstrate trust in J’s judgement incrementally. |
90 Days, Give or Take
Most studies suggest that it takes us 90 consecutive days of repeating a behavior to make it a habit, with some wiggle room for different people. That said, if you initiate tweaks with an existing routine and they clearly don’t work, make some changes; try a different order of steps, cues, or rewards, and see what results.
Rewards are important and subtle. We all consider different things rewarding. So examine what is being offered and see if it really qualifies. In J’s example, it would be critical that J communicate what they find rewarding. What feels rewarding also changes from day to day, or over time. Recheck rewards and make sure they still feel good. If they don’t, they aren’t rewards.
Social reinforcement is a basic human need. We all need to feel seen and appreciated. With teens you can sense if verbal praise is accepted, rejected, embarrassing, or a source of pride. We can give social approval with less public displays, like texts or notes. The key with praise is that it be specific and accurate. Don’t rely on generalities like “good job.” Instead, compliment the specific behavior you want to see more of.
Catch it Going Right
Behavior programming talks about “proximal” behavior, or behavior that is close to the desired outcome but isn’t quite there yet. Parents and caregivers need to train themselves to notice and reinforce proximal action. Supportive adults have evolved brains too, and the default setting is looking for what’s going wrong, in order to prevent it, especially where children are concerned. In the case of J, the first step, of putting their bag in the bedroom instead of in the kitchen, is critical to developing the rest of the routine. That small shift will initiate everything else. It deserves notice.
It’s also smart to look back in time, even if it’s a short period, to notice what has been accomplished. Every little step in the right direction will impact the goal. Even when something didn’t work, so you changed it, should be counted as a win, as progress, as worthy of comment.
