In the last few newsletters (issues 5,6,7), I’ve shared the 

• Personal Routine,  

• Macro Sync Routine  

• Wrap Up Routine 

Think of these as the boundaries that define the field of skills I teach in “Executive Function: Blueprints for Learner Success.”  

Note that these are all behavioral changes. New behavior may not be easy to adopt, and this is true for anyone. Tweens and teens are no different. One basic principle of behavioral training is to program the environment to support a new behavior. I’ve created a checklist for the Macro Sync and Wrap Up routines that helps with that. This initial task checklist sets up the consistency so the behavior can move toward a habit. A lot of research suggests that it takes ninety days of consistently doing something to incorporate it into our habits. I’ve created these worksheets to support that kind of repetition during the days I am not the one working with a learner.  

Parents have tremendous influence over the environment that kids are navigating. By taking the helm on prompting kids to engage these new actions, parents can become much more aware of the learner’s progress and support rewarding that progress with their approval.  

For example; each day’s checklist has a reward built into the routine. Parents can collaborate with their child to identify the most motivating rewards and be the one to give it. There is a double benefit in this approach: the parent becomes the source of pleasurable interactions and desired benefits, and the learner gets rewarded for doing something that also comes with built in rewards—increasing confidence and self-determination, a classic WIN-WIN scenario.  

Another strategy from behavioral science is to record successful instances of the desired actions. Whether the Macro Sync and Wrap Up checklist are logged digitally or by hand, a record of achievement gets built. The has two benefits. The learner has proof of their ability to make the change and any days that pass without the desired outcome are seen as normal hiccups along the way, rather than full on failure of the whole plan.  

Rewards for cumulative success are also important. Securing rewards that grow over time, or increase as performance becomes more consistent, are very powerful. I would “sell” this to a teenager by proposing that I “hire” them to complete the Macro Sync and Wrap Up each working day. We would review their record each week to earn their contracted sum.  

Parents do know their children best. I encourage exploring those Jedi powers to find the reward structures that are most motivating to the student. Teenagers especially, are trying to establish autonomy while resisting added responsibility. As the leaders of the household, parents’ actions are much louder than their words, and more impactful that they probably realize. Using both their insight into their child’s personality, and some astute self-observation, parents have the power to program experiences that will teach kids to practice these skills, often without their being aware of it. Consistent support and encouragement from parents, helps the student to mature into these life skills.  

There is, as every parent instinctively knows, a fine balance to this. Too much micromanaging, or too little oversight, and the skills and habits will not take hold, and sometimes create resentment. Be clear about how the learner can earn benefits, or experience failure, from the outset. Continually point out what is going right. Reward desired actions consistently and on time. Allow the student to experience the NATURAL consequences of their choices. A poor grade on a quiz or assignment is not the end of the world, if the child learns that it came from choosing not to prepare. Discuss outcomes, good and bad, and help them reflect on the impact of their choices. 

Once the Fundamental Routines are a habit, use the life skills for other goals, like entrance exams, securing a driver’s license, and applying to colleges. The home is the environment that supports or upends these habits. Parents, as leaders in their homes, set the behavioral example. By helping students habituate these routines into life skills, parents can set their children up for lifelong success and achievement.